


Falling Fast, Breathing Slow

by reignsromans



Series: See You Again [5]
Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F, Soft sex, and just general softness too, lots of feelings, uhh idk what to tag without spoiling, we going to paris lads
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:07:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26071621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reignsromans/pseuds/reignsromans
Summary: Turns out it takes a lot more than an orgasm and a new work assignment to get over an obsession.
Relationships: Eve Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova
Series: See You Again [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1852198
Comments: 68
Kudos: 244





	1. want vs reason

Turns out it takes a lot more than an orgasm and a new work assignment to get over an obsession. 

What does it take, you may ask? The answer remained annoyingly unknown to Eve. All she knew was that her moment of letting go and giving in to weakness had carried the intention of helping and it had failed. Miserably.

In fact, it might have made things even worse. 

It had been easier before, back when her thoughts were _allowed_ to be all about Villanelle and focused solely on crime and tracking and work. When the person she'd met and the person Carolyn had had them chasing still felt like two separate beings; didn't quite mesh together into one in her mind despite knowing better. But then Barcelona had happened and the convenient distraction of work had been cruelly ripped away and somewhere in the midst of it all, she'd lost that carefully maintained disconnect - finally seen Villanelle as a whole.

Seen and let her in anyway. _Wanted_ to let her in. Crossed more lines, permanently changed things. And for what? Because she was sad and lost and Villanelle made her feel better? Because she'd actually believed a quick fuck and some decent company would fix the worst of it? It was too much to analyze for the sake of getting answers she was afraid of. 

So Eve did not analyze. 

Eve tried to jam it all down and move on. 

She had paraded into her briefing that post-Villanelle Monday full of determination, ready to embrace it as the clean slate it promised to be. Ready to only pay attention to what she was being paid to do, everything else be damned. And she'd succeeded...for a little while. Effort was made, progress came easy and shit got done but good god, it was just so fucking _boring_. So straightforward and lifeless compared to what she had gotten used to.

And when you took that boredom into consideration, it was almost inevitable that her mind find itself wandering to more interesting things. It happened without permission or warning; her brain trying to conjure up a feasible reason to ask Carolyn for an update on her ex-case, wondering over and over if any new information had been acquired or if they were any closer to their target. All the while telling herself it was in the name of closure.

The deeper truth, though, the one that lied beneath the cover of boredom, was that Eve _had_ to think about these things. She needed them, because in their absence all she was left with was the memory of how Villanelle felt pressed close to her, the way she tasted and sounded and the softness of her smile. A series of moments playing on loop, making her feel them almost as much as when they had been present instead of past.

So really, there was no 'might' about it. It had definitely made things worse. 

The question now was what, aside from Villanelle herself, could make them better.

\----------

One week had passed since Villanelle's visit. 

Seven days and nights. Not much of a milestone in the grand scheme of things, but it was the first time Eve had kept track of them. 

She really fucking hated that she was keeping track of them.

Things were only made more unbearable by a newfound awareness to her absolute lack of power, creeping in to blindside her in those moments where she longed to at least _call_ Villanelle and was reminded that she couldn't (because yes, she'd tried the number she had despite being 99% sure that phone would have been destroyed and no, she'd not been wrong). Hell, she never even knew what country the other woman was in, her whereabouts only apparent when she was right in front of Eve's face. 

So forget all about balls in courts. Eve didn't even _have_ a fucking court.

Curled up in the corner of her sofa (the opposite side to where she'd been with Villanelle, because reasons), Eve absent-mindedly turned her phone between her fingers as she tried and failed to focus on whatever cooking show was airing on Food Network. 

It couldn't hurt, right? Just to kill some curiosity. 

A couple more minutes of indecision passed before she finally gave into her impulses, unlocked her phone screen and went to dial Carolyn, only hesitating for a split second before hitting the little green icon. It was still early enough in the night to not cause alarm or potentially interrupt anything. Hopefully.

" _Eve_." The incredibly dry greeting came after a few rings.

"Carolyn, hey. I just wanted to ask-"

" _It's no longer your case, Eve. Let it go_." 

Was she really that predictable? Jesus. "I know, I know, but I need to know if-" 

" _The only thing you need to know is that this is precisely why I pulled you. I have no idea how you got in so deep and, frankly, I don't care. I simply acted because I'm all too aware that it would have made you a liability in the long run_." There was a pause and what sounded like a sip before she spoke again. " _Look, Eve, you're talented and although I may not say so very often, I appreciate your work. But I've been in your shoes before, consumed, and it never ends well. So please, heed my words. Let it go_."

The line went dead and Eve tossed her phone down beside her in disbelief, muttering a heartfelt "fuck you" as it landed. Fat lot of fucking help that had been. Not that she had expected to get anything out of it, but still. There had been at least a shred of hope and now it was gone. With another glare in the direction of her phone, she curled further into the corner to make another attempt at focusing on the TV. 

Let it go. 

If only it were that simple.

\----------

Four more days passed. 

Was she pining? It kind of felt like pining. 

She really fucking hated that, too.

After finally climbing through the mound of paperwork she had brought home with her and deeming the hour of 10:08PM as too late to cook anything, Eve poured herself a bowl of cereal as a quick dinner and dragged herself up onto a stool at the kitchen counter. Any food was better than no food at all. And cereal tastes better at night.

The plan had been to give her emails one last check while she ate, maybe scroll through the day's news articles if there was nothing to read or answer, then go get ready for bed. Simple and boring, but routine. Comfortable. 

Apparently it was too much to ask.

She was mid-crunch and halfway through a story about some new shipwreck that had been discovered when her phone started to violently buzz in her hand, the words 'Unknown Number' filling the middle of the screen. 

Eve stared at it while she finished her mouthful, desperately trying to ignore the leap in her chest caused by the first person that had popped into her head. With a rush of nerves surging through her, she swallowed and swiped her thumb across the screen.

"Hello?" 

" _Eve, hi. It is me. I need to ask you something._ "

Oh god. The first guess had been accurate. She almost wished it hadn't.

Almost. 

"Uh, what?" 

" _Would you come and meet me if I asked you to?_ " 

"I-" Eve cut herself off before blurting anything, the familiar battle between Want and Reason starting up in her head. So far Want had won every round and things were definitely not ideal. Perhaps it was time for a different approach. "I don't know. Are you asking?" 

" _Yes_." A dramatic sigh came down the phone. " _MI6 might be closing in on me. The people I work for had a mole. He is dead now but I need to disappear for a while, be careful, blah, blah. I want to see you again, though. Before I go_." 

"Where?" It was out without a second thought. Want gets the upper hand.

" _Paris_."

"Paris!?" Eve shot up from her stool and walked across the kitchen, just to give herself something to do while she tried to process. "Are you serious?" 

" _Very. There is a flight you can take tomorrow afternoon, I checked_."

" _Tomorrow?_ I can't just-"

" _Please? I will text you an address and give you back whatever you spend, okay?_ " 

"Villanelle." 

" _Just write it down and delete the message. I promise I will say more when we are together_." 

"This is fucking insane." Eve muttered to herself, leaning back against the counter and exhaling slowly. "Okay, okay. Fine. I'll see what I can do."

Even with the words out there, she could hardly believe she'd said them. The more worrying part was that it hadn't even taken any convincing. 

" _I will be waiting._ " 

The call ended and less than a minute later, while Eve was stood staring straight ahead and wondering when exactly in her life she'd lost all sense of self-control, her phone buzzed with a message. It contained an address, as promised, followed by a kissy face and an airplane emoji. 

Still in slight disbelief at what she'd just agreed to, Eve slowly located a scrap of paper and a pen and did as she'd been instructed, folding it up and slipping it inside her jeans pocket afterwards. She then headed to her bedroom to switch her laptop on and book a flight.

Ding, ding, ding - Want remains undefeated.

\----------

It was close to a trance, what Eve felt as she walked through the propped open door of the apartment building. The lack of sleep from the night before mixed with nerves and lingering disbelief to create a weird kind of fuzziness inside her, broken only by the steady hammering of her heart as she started to climb the stairs. 

The restless night, shoving things in her backpack that morning, writing a bullshit email to get out of work, planning her route, travelling...none of it had felt _real_ but at the same time, in some massively illogical way, it had also felt _too_ real. That's the thing about feelings, though; they are often illogical, often drive us to do the unimaginable. 

A few more stairs, a bend. There was no need to check the scrunched up paper in her pocket again - she'd done it so so many times that the words and numbers had almost lost meaning. 

This was it.

She stopped in front of the door and took a deep, steadying breath before raising a hand and giving three quick knocks. The sound of footsteps came moments later, growing louder and closer until they stopped and gave way to the metallic clicking of a lock, the turning of a handle. It was a wonder she could hear any of it over the pounding of her heartbeat in her ears, threatening to deafen her as the door swung open. 

"Eve." A grin spread across Villanelle's face, soft and genuine. "You came."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehehe
> 
> thanks so much for reading!! and for all your support!! love u all forever. chapter two will be with you soon, i am nervous about it but yeah that'll be what the rating is for lol
> 
> PS: the way part 4 is currently the 2nd most viewed of the series...you are a bunch of horny fucks and i am calling you out for it (with love, of course)


	2. take all of me

Everything had been so fucking hard. 

The overthinking, the exhaustion. The efforts to shove down feelings and emotions instead of letting them run their course, too afraid of what might happen if they were acknowledged. The added weight of professional failure. It had been a hell of a lot for the span of two months and it all added up, all took its toll. 

But this was easy. 

It was easy for Eve to let herself be led by her hand towards Villanelle's bedroom, to get lost in soft kisses pressed against her lips and gentle hands ridding her of her sweater. Easy to fall back on the bed and pull Villanelle down with her by a handful of her ridiculously fancy robe, to laugh at her fussing about how much it cost between more kisses.

Everything with Villanelle came easy, and maybe that was what was hardest to deal with. 

"Is this just a really long distance booty call?" Eve questioned, looking up with amusement at Villanelle sat straddling her hips and fighting with a botched knot in the tie on the front of her robe. 

"No." Villanelle replied distractedly, frowning in concentration for a few more seconds before letting out a triumphant little noise and yanking her robe open and off. Now only in a matching set of deep blue underwear and with her usual confident smirk back in place, she leaned back down to hover over Eve. "But I never got you naked last time and that is a crime, so now I must fix it." 

Eve scoffed, doing her best to keep her eyes on Villanelle's face right above hers and not let them wander south. It was easier said than done. "A crime? Really?" 

"Yes. I would know." 

"You might have gotten me naked if you'd stayed." 

The words seemed to leave Villanelle torn for a split second, as if on the brink of saying something before she changed her mind and kissed Eve again instead, grinning cheekily once she pulled away. "I will do much better this time." 

And with that she was undoing the button and zip on Eve's jeans and swiftly moving back down the bed to tug them off (with a touch of assistance), dropping them on the floor with another grin, this one full of amusement. 

"Eve?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Why does your underwear say 'boo!'?" 

Eyes widening, Eve quickly and unnecessarily glanced down to confirm that yes, she had indeed blindly pulled on the least attractive pair of panties she owned that morning when she got dressed. Of course she had. "Uh, to scare you off? They were a dumb gift in an office secret santa one year." 

Villanelle snorted at the explanation as she made her way back up the bed and on top of Eve. "They are almost as sexy as your fuzzy red socks." She teased once they were face to face again.

"You want sexy? They used to glow in the dark." 

"Oof! Stop, you will make me crazy." 

Eve's responding snicker was cut off by Villanelle's lips finding hers again and suddenly all trace of humour was gone, replaced by the growing heat of _want_ igniting and spreading through her like a wildfire as tongues met and bare skin touched. She lightly trailed her fingertips up and down Villanelle's back, smiling at the goosebumps that broke out in their wake before finally reaching her bra clasp and unhooking it. 

After an impatient scramble to rid herself of it and a murmured request for Eve to do the same, Villanelle slipped to one side of her and started to drag lazy, open-mouthed kisses down her neck and over her collarbone. Slowly descending until her mouth was over a nipple and Eve was inhaling sharply underneath her as she gave a gentle suck.

"Vil..." Eve breathed, moaning softly when Villanelle trailed her lips across her chest to her other nipple and grazed the stiffened flesh with her teeth. 

It was unexpected, the way Villanelle seemed completely dedicated to her as she shifted to settle between her legs and continued to press those open-mouthed kisses all the way down her stomach; the polar opposite of the urgency and pent up tension that had dominated their last encounter. It made Eve's chest flutter just as much as it increased the heat and want inside of her. 

Needing more, needing to _see_ , she pushed herself up to lean on her elbows and looked down as Villanelle reached the waistband of her underwear, totally unprepared for how the other woman glanced up to lock eyes with her and the question that followed: "Is it okay?" 

A nod was all Eve gave at first, but when Villanelle made no move other than slightly raising an eyebrow, she swallowed and offered more. "Yeah, it's okay. I want you to." 

Satisfied, Villanelle dropped one final kiss on Eve's stomach then set about sliding her panties down and off. Eve had no idea where they ended up, couldn't even spare a thought for it because Villanelle was now knelt back between her legs and gazing down at her as if she were the eighth wonder of the world - the only thing that mattered.

"You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen." Whispered, almost breathed.

And god, it was so much. That look and those words, the awestruck sincerity and intensity of them. They had something inside Eve waking up and screaming at her to _get out_ , to run for the hills while she still had a chance at saving herself from the inevitable fall and crash looming on the horizon. _It never ends well, it never ends well..._

She wouldn't, though. Would stay and burn underneath the fire in Villanelle's eyes, if that was what it came to. 

It would be one hell of a way to go. 

A few seconds passed before Villanelle moved again; slipping down onto her front and hooking her arms under Eve's legs, lips ghosting over the sensitive skin of her inner thigh as she drew closer and closer to where she was no longer just wanted but _needed._

Warm breath hit Eve's core then Villanelle was there, her tongue dragging through slick folds and circling Eve's clit as if they had all the time in the world. Coaxing more and more wetness from her, slowly exploring and increasing pressure until Eve was moaning and cursing and reaching for a handful of blonde hair, first only holding but then gently tugging her back.

Villanelle pulled away instantly, confused and a touch concerned. "What is it?" 

"I want-" Eve's voice cracked, husky from her moans and _fuck_ , she actually felt herself clench at the sight of Villanelle's glistening lips. "I want to touch you. Come up here?" 

Something like a whimper caught in Villanelle's throat at the request and she hurriedly obliged, mouth crashing into Eve's only to be torn away again by a loud groan when Eve slipped a hand down the front of her panties and slid two fingers through her slit to tease at her soaked entrance.

"Jesus, you're so wet." 

"Mhm." Villanelle groaned again as Eve slid just inside. "Hang on." 

Biting down on her bottom lip as Eve continued to tease, Villanelle brought her free hand between Eve's legs and mirrored her actions, smirking when Eve's hips jerked slightly then sliding her fingers all the way. She started to thrust and Eve took it as a big fat greenlight to do the same, both moaning and searching for each others lips again as they found a rhythm. 

There was no rush, no race to the finish line. Just sloppy, unrestrained kisses between quick, shallow breaths as they built up a pace and spurred each other on with whispered words and broken noises. 

"I won't...last much more." Eve panted, hand faltering slightly as she felt that familiar pressure in her gut start to take over.

Villanelle nodded, the arm she was using to hold herself up starting to tremble under her weight as she began to rapidly flick her thumb over Eve's clit. "I will be right behind you." She murmured, forehead dropping to rest on Eve's shoulder when Eve once again matched her movement.

It was a matter of seconds before Eve came, a guttural moan leaving her and sending Villanelle tumbling over the edge to join her. Muscles tensing then relaxing, held breaths released in long puffs. Eve was overwhelmed, consumed, unable to remember ever having felt that _much_ before. It would be fine if she never did again, she thought. Worth it. 

No longer able to hold herself up, Villanelle sprawled her arm out above her and nuzzled further into Eve's shoulder, whimpering softly when Eve's hand left her panties and slid out from under her to let her lay flat on the bed. It was a moment before she freed her own hand and slung that arm over Eve's middle. 

"Told you I would do better this time." 

Eve chuckled. "Yeah, yeah, you got me naked. I didn't quite manage it." 

"I will fix that, too." Villanelle replied before rolling away to pull her remaining item of clothing off and toss it on the floor. "See? Done." 

Eve simply rolled her eyes, smiling as Villanelle settled flat on her back beside her. 

Seconds turned to minutes and late afternoon turned to early evening, the winter sunlight fading quickly but still strong enough to paint faint shadows across the ceiling. It was peaceful, comfortable. Quiet. A moment of pure _rest_ , where everything feels like it's in harmony and no one thing sticks out enough to preoccupy the mind. Something safe, Eve thought, with someone who should be anything but. 

"I could not stay." Villanelle said suddenly, quietly. "Last time." 

It pulled Eve from the drowsy state she'd fallen into and she opened her eyes, the faint shadows she'd been following before they closed now barely visible at all. Unsure of whether to ask or not, whether to push or simply wait, she turned her head to look at Villanelle. The other woman was still staring up at the ceiling.

"I feel things when I am with you. It was a lot and I needed to get out." 

"Oh." Eve's chest fluttered, her stomach flipped. "Okay, yeah, I get that."

"You do?" 

"I do." 

Villanelle finally tore her gaze away from the ceiling and turned her head to face Eve. There was a jarring vulnerability about her, her expression something close to hopeful. Something in the neighbourhood of relieved, too. It made Eve's chest do more weird things. 

"I feel things when I'm with you, too." 

A half smile tugged at Villanelle's lips and she shifted onto her side, reaching over to tuck a couple of loose curls behind Eve's ear. "Would you like to make dinner with me?" 

"God, yes. I'm starving." 

It was enough for now, what had been said. A whole lot neatly wrapped up and delivered under the cover of a few vague words that still felt _safe_ , didn't cross into the territory of being damning because those things that were felt remained unnamed. 

It was acknowledging without making it all too real.

Enough, for now.

\----------

"Nice to get to see the rest of your apartment." Eve commented as she leaned against Villanelle's cute little kitchen counter, watching her look through a cupboard. "Do you usually drag people to bed the moment they arrive or am I special?" 

Villanelle scoffed. "I would not call it dragging. All I did was kiss you and go to start the grand tour of my home with my bedroom so if anything, you distracted me from being a good hostess." 

"Oh _that's_ what you call it, I see." 

"It is nothing but the truth, Eve." 

Eve snorted, shaking her head. "If you say so. What's on the menu?" 

"I do not know." Villanelle huffed dramatically and shut the cupboard door, turning to open the fridge instead. "I kind of forgot I did not go shopping." 

"Yeah, no shit." Eve laughed as she peered over and saw it contained nothing but a couple of bottles of champagne. "Do they have Just Eat here?" 

" _Oui, madame_." 

45 minutes later (it would have been closer to 30 had Villanelle not been so indecisive about her pizza toppings), they were back on Villanelle's bed with food and her laptop set up in front of them. She had deemed it far comfier than the couch and Eve would never argue with logic as sound as that. 

"Fine, you can pick a movie as long as it isn't Shrek 2." 

"But Eve, do you not want to hear me do Donkey?" 

"Why would I? I already know you're an ass." 

Villanelle gasped, half-eaten slice of pizza halfway towards her mouth. "You are lucky you are so hot, Eve, because you are really rude. Like, _really_." 

Eve snickered and took a bite of her own slice, swallowing before she replied. "Okay, okay, I can compromise and go for something by Dreamworks."

"Yesss." Villanelle grinned and leaned forward to her laptop to make her choice, finding it quickly enough and making it full screen. 

"Over The Hedge? Really?" Eve questioned once she recognized the opening scene. 

"Shh, the squirrel is adorable." 

\----------

6AM came all too soon. 

Eve could only vaguely remember falling asleep sometime during their second film, after they'd cleared their empty boxes away and moved to lay up on the pillows together. Villanelle had asked when she was leaving and set an alarm, had encouraged her to get some rest. She hadn't even bothered to protest, giving in easily to the comfort and warm around her. 

But now it was over. 

She dragged herself to the bathroom, grabbing her backpack off the floor on the way so she could change into the spare clothes she'd shoved in there. Fresh underwear and a clean sweater, nothing fancy. She'd wear the same jeans again. 

"I called you a car, it will be here soon." Villanelle said when she entered the bedroom again. 

"Thanks." Eve tried to give her a smile, but it didn't come through. She felt strangely empty, distant. 

She didn't want to go. Didn't want to leave the person who made things easy.

"You will make it back okay, right?" Villanelle asked as they stood by the front door.

"Yeah." Eve nodded. "First train of the day, 7:15. I'll be back at work by lunchtime." 

"Poor you." 

"I'll live." 

A half smile tugged at Villanelle's mouth and she reached behind Eve to unlock the door before standing back. "I am not good at...this. Goodbyes." 

"Me neither." 

"Then we will not say it, okay?" 

"What should we say then?" 

Villanelle did smile this time, head tilting slightly as she looked at Eve with a softness that made the idea of leaving a hundred times more unappealing than it already was. "I will say that I will find you again, Eve. When I am sure things are safe." 

Eve couldn't help but smile back. Maybe it was those unnamed feelings, hitting again. "Don't get caught, okay?"

With an exaggerated eye roll at the comment, Villanelle reached behind her again and turned the door knob, swinging it open when she stepped back out the way. "I will not get caught." 

"Good." Eve replied as she made her way out into the hallway. "Then I'll see you again." 

It must have been a good attempt at a dramatic exiting line because she heard Villanelle chuckle behind her as she walked away, the sound taking the edge off the sadness creeping into her. 

She was almost at the main entrance when she finally heard Villanelle's door close, and that sound gave the sadness its edge back.

\----------

"Urgent personal matters to take care of" had been the chosen excuse for getting out of work on such short notice. Quick, to the point, no details to keep track of. It also had the added advantage of keeping annoying follow-up questions at bay. All marks of a good lie, Eve thought. There would be no way it could bite her in the ass. 

She repeated this to herself now, as she gave a knock on Carolyn's door and waited for permission to enter. It came and she did, somewhat awkwardly. "Morning." 

"Eve." Carolyn greeted, not looking up from whatever it was she was writing. "Sit." 

Eve took the seat closest to her, feeling like a kid sent to the principal's office. With no idea why she'd been instructed to go there, she was working off the assumption that she'd missed something during her day away and needed filling in. She fidgeted with her hands as she waited for Carolyn to finish up, took in her surroundings. 

After a quickly scrawled signature, Carolyn set her pen down and looked up, expression set in a perfect poker face. 

"So, how was Paris?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i reread this so many times that eventually i just had to bite the bullet and post it or i was never going to stop nitpicking lmao
> 
> thanks for reading! hope you enjoyed it!


	3. emotional whiplash

Eve immediately felt her heart plummet to her gut, a strong rush of panic sweeping through her and sending her mind into overdrive as the question hung in the air between them, simple yet potentially deadly. Just how fucked was she? How much more had been discovered? 

_Keep it vague. Give nothing away._

"It was fine." She managed, forcing the words out in a tone that was surprisingly close to normal. 

"Interesting. I was expecting you to try denying it, at least at first." Carolyn mused. 

Eve shrugged. "What would be the point? You clearly know I went."

"Indeed. Did you find her?" 

Oh. So she didn't _know_ know. 

"No." Eve paused and took a breath, as if what was coming next were some grand confession she needed a second to psych herself up to. "I was sent a postcard with an address, went and found nothing but an empty apartment. The only explanation I have is that Villanelle found out I was the one sent to her crime scene in Barcelona and wanted to mess with me or taunt me or something, I don't know. I guess she stuck around nearby long enough to see if anyone showed up then moved on."

"I see." 

"I should've come to you. Sorry." 

Carolyn waved the apology off. "It _was_ incredibly stupid to rush off alone, but I have to admit that I would have done the same. I will ask, however, that you bring any further communication to me. If there is any."

"Of course." Eve agreed quickly. "I don't think there will be, though. I think she was just bored." A beat passed before she added, "I'd probably be dead otherwise."

"I have no doubt you would be." 

"Yeah. So is that, uh, all you wanted?" 

An eyebrow was raised in her direction. "In a hurry, are we?" 

"No, just wondering." 

"On the topic of wondering..." Carolyn leaned back in her chair, fixing her with a particularly scrutinous stare, "is there anything else I should know, Eve?" 

Things suddenly felt a lot less 'principal's office' and a lot more 'unofficial interrogation room'. It was _so_ hard not to crack under that stare, hard to not feel like simply opening her mouth would send every single detail of every encounter with Villanelle spilling out into the open, but she held it together. Kept her face under control and resisted the urge to look literally _anywhere else_ but at the intimidating woman in front of her. 

"No, nothing else. I just...it's hard to drop it. But I'm trying." 

"Good." Carolyn gave a single, brisk nod, seemingly satisfied. "I can chalk this up as a one-off then, hm? The paperwork involved in filing an official report is awfully tedious and I would appreciate being able to avoid it." 

A look of pure disbelief flashed across Eve's face before she collected herself and eagerly nodded her agreement. Any remaining trace of panic dissipated, replaced by a relief that was probably a lot more evident than she would've liked, but fuck it. The bullet had been dodged, it was worth a little emotional whiplash. "A one-off, yes. I consider my wrist properly slapped." 

"Very well, you're free to go." 

"Thank you." She offered a half smile and was about to get to her feet when curiosity struck, stopping her in her tracks. There was time for it now that she was safe. "Wait, how did you know?" 

"You never take time off, Eve, and the timing was suspicious, to say the least." Carolyn replied, a minuscule twitch at the corner of her mouth serving to show she'd taken some form of entertainment from the situation. Good for her. "I had your card run, saw you purchased a ticket to Paris and made the fairly easy assumption that you'd gone rogue."

Eve puffed her cheeks up and let the air out slowly, processing. It was almost funny to hear how easily she'd been figured out, funnier still that she'd somehow gotten away with lying her way around it. Whether it be by stars aligning, some random twist of fate or just sheer dumb luck, she had made it through what could have been a disastrous conversation unscathed. The relief was starting to reach giddy levels, mixing with adrenaline and shock and god, why did it all seem so fucking _funny?_

She had to get out of there before she actually laughed.

"Subtlety was never my strong suit." Was her final comment before standing up. "Thanks again." 

Carolyn simply waved a hand in acknowledgement, already reaching for another stack of papers on her desk and picking her pen back up as Eve headed for the door and let herself out. 

Bullet dodged. Death cheated. 

Her small burst of laughter was only just contained until she was safely around the corner.

\----------

The rest of the day passed by smoothly, sped up by the high of residual adrenaline and the distraction of having things to do. It wasn't until Eve was on the bus heading home that the crash came - tiredness hitting full force as she watched the world go by through the window. Looking but not seeing, not registering anything because her freshly unoccupied mind had jumped at the chance to take her back to Paris, to the warmth of Villanelle's body next to hers and the peace being together brought. 

Was it bad that she already missed Villanelle? Because that was what it was. There was no point trying to deny it or twist it into something else anymore. Things change when you decide to rush off to another country for someone, they're bound to. Anything she had previously been able to kid herself into believing was now too far out of reach, booted into orbit by loaded gazes and soft confessions.

_I feel things when I'm with you._

_With_ was fine. _With_ could be handled. The problem was those feelings starting to seep into _without_ , too.

Stood at her front door, Eve slung her backpack around and unzipped the small front pocket to retrieve her keys. Her fingers brushed against something else in the midst of her fumbling, but she hardly gave it a thought. Probably some long forgotten rubbish from some other trip. She pulled her keys out and let herself in, kicking her shoes off then heading straight to her bedroom. 

Sleeping for a year felt like a viable option. Maybe even two. 

She tossed her bag onto the bed and set about emptying it, worn clothes dropped on the floor near the foot of her bed to be put to wash the next day. Doing it right now would be too much effort. The bag itself was about to go join the clothes when she remembered the front pocket and went to pull out whatever remained in there, expecting an old receipt or something similar. 

It wasn't an old receipt. 

The familiar scrawl of her name across paper sent her heart off on another sprint and she carefully unfolded the small page, eyes darting over the words found there.

" _You are asleep and I can tell I am going to miss you_

_Weird, right? I have never missed anyone before, but you have changed a lot for me_

_Maybe you will miss me too?_

_This is not our end, I will not let it be. Promise xx_ "

A lump formed in Eve's throat as she reached the end and she swallowed against it, lowering herself to sit on the edge of her bed as she read the note again, over and over until her vision began to blur with the burning prickle in her eyes. She didn't cry, though. Wouldn't. 

It was easy to imagine Villanelle sneaking aside in the dark, writing down what neither dared to say out loud and hiding it where she knew it wouldn't be found before they had parted ways once again. The image flooded Eve's head as she forced herself through the motions of showering, stayed with her while she slipped into an old t-shirt and under her duvet. She wished she had some way to tell Villanelle that there was no 'maybe', no question.

The note was beside her on the bed when she willingly gave into exhaustion and closed her eyes, having found comfort in the paper and ink and the memories of the person tied to them. The words were few but they were all for her, and she would hold onto them for however long was necessary. 

It wasn't the end. 

Promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its a short boy and i never actually intended it to be a thing but here we are, all i do is wing it and i'm sure it shows
> 
> thanks for all the love!! makes me all warm and fuzzy


End file.
